Looking Glass
by That'sMyFiasco
Summary: Sometimes more than beauty is in the eye of the beholder. A twoshot songfic, featuring our favourite priestesses. InuKag.
1. Shell of What I Had

Looking-Glass

A two-part songfic, by That'sMyFiasco

Summary: Beauty is said to be in the eye of the beholder- sometimes, events are the same way. Feautring our favourite preistesses.

**Part I- Shell of What I Had**

**Disclaimer:** Um, no, Inuyasha's not mine. Why? Because he's so damn expensive! I mean, 30 manga times $10 per volume is a lot of money! Geez.

On the other hand, whereas Relient K merchandise is fairly affordable, I don't technically own the perfect musical genius that is Matt Theissen. Which is a rather depressing thought, actually.

* * *

_I feel like I was born_

_To devastation and reform_

_Destroying everything I loved_

_And the worst part is_

_I pull my heart out, reconstruct_

_And in the end it's nothing but_

_The shell of what I had when I first started_

_Usually I'll cause my own first hit _

_It seems to me to be slightly masochistic_

_But there'd be no story_

_Without all this distention _

_So I inflict the conflict _

_With the utmost of contemption_

_So lock the windows_

_And bolt the door_

_Cuz I've got enough problems_

_Without creating more_

_-_the song Devastation and Reform, by Relient K

I sat down on a convenient rock, pulling my robes around me. I did not feel the cold anymore, but the semblance of being under covers was comforting to me, somehow. Above me, my soul-stealers drifted lazily in the slight breeze. It was a cool night, for it being late summer- I was sure that Inuyasha and my reincarnation were in front of a campfire somewhere, enjoying their evening meal.

Looking up, wisps of ebony hair drifted in front of my eyes. The moon was bright, almost full, and the stars glittered peacefully. Then, from somewhere behind me, a high laugh pierced the night air. Though my expression never changed, it felt as if someone had shoved an icicle through my chest. That sound... carefree, airy- the embodiment of youth- that was _her_ laugh. It says so much about her, her lightness, her passion... her love for life. And something in me knew that _he_ was with her, enjoying that laugh and basking in the warmth it created.

That same something felt sick at the thought.

I debated moving for a moment- I had not intended to be so close to them. I told myself it was just because I did not wish for company, that having to converse would be a trial, but I knew what my true motives were. Another part in me, some part that wouldn't shy away from the truth, knew that it was no guarantee that even if he did catch a sight of the soul stealers, he would come. It was a scary thing, not to be sure of the affections of the one who had once loved you. Of anyone, really.

You never really value your place in humanity until you're no longer part of it. It was something that Inuyasha had always known- and something that I was now learning, day by day. Another emotion for me to deal with- sympathy. At times, the feeling of aloneness consumed me, and it took all I had to affix my face, shield my eyes, and continue on. Now, vulnerability is everything- it cannot be tolerated. The merest fracture could be the fault line that splits my heart into a million pieces. Which is why it's the best thing to let no one have access, and make sure that they stay far enough that there isn't the slightest chance of them being able to penetrate my defenses.

I shook my head, frustrated that I had allowed myself to slip into my deep musings. It was dangerous, letting them take over. Suddenly, I became keenly aware of my body... cold, hard- and tired. So tired. I leaned back and rested my head on the stone, my cool cheek pressing against the equally cold rock. The stealers drifted down, one winding itself around my ankles, the others winding around the nearby trees.

Another sound from behind me startled me once more.

"Kikyo?" I didn't even need to turn around before I knew him. I knew his voice better than that of my own thought. I sat up slowly, until I was kneeling on the soft, damp ground.

"Hello, Inuyasha." The steadiness of my own voice was surprising to me. He stood there, head held high, silver hair blowing gently and looking for anything like someone from an old legend I would tell Kaede before bed. Yet, despite that, his eyes were soft, and concerned.

"Are you... alright? Did you need me?" I smiled slightly at the expression on his face. Even if he did not want me any more, even if he did not feel for me as I do for him, he would still come. Dog-like, in a way- always intensely loyal. I met his eyes and smiled wider for a moment before getting to my feet and tucking my hands into my sleeves. He was so passionate, so young.

I am not young anymore.

"Inuyasha..." His ears flicked forward at the sound of my voice. I shivered involuntarily- I had never liked those ears of his. They were a constant reminder of the fact that he was different- that we were different. And would never be the same. I lifted my chin and continued.

"This is goodbye, Inuyasha." He started, a sweet, somewhat angry look on his face. I spoke quickly before he could- I didn't trust myself not to waver, to be strong, to resist the warm, limpid pools of his eyes. "It's time for me to leave- I don't belong here anymore." He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. I smiled gently, though I'm sure it had a bitter edge to it.

"You truly love her, don't you?" Though I posed it as such, it wasn't a question; and though he had the good grace to blush slightly, he still didn't speak. I walked up to him quickly, my feet leaving marks in the dewy grass. Gently, light as a butterfly's caress, I pressed my chill lips to his warm, blood-filled cheek. I could feel him shiver slightly at my touch.

"Wh-" He had to stop, and clear his throat. "Where will you go?" I looked down, lashes sweeping my cheek.

"Does it matter?" I put a smile on my face. If nothing else, my leaving would leave him happy. I wanted to do something worthwhile in my time here- something that didn't cause people pain. "Goodbye," I repeated. "You are released from your promise." I almost couldn't believe what I was saying- but it was the right thing to do, I was sure of it.

He smiled down at me, and I was pleased to see a little longing on his face. My cold heart gave one last, desperate lurch, as if willing itself to be alive again, to beat as it once did. Involuntarily, I pressed my hand to my chest, and closed my eyes for a moment. When they opened once more, I had to blink back a few rouge tears. I would not spend my time on tears, not anymore.

Stepping out of the moonlight and into the dark of the forest, I kept walking and did not look back.

_Pull my heart out, reconstruct_

_And in the end it's nothing but_

_The shell of what I had when I first started_

_The shell of what I had when I first started_

_I feel like I was born_

_To devastation and reform_

_Destroying everything I loved_

_And the worst part is_

_I pull my heart out, reconstruct_

_And in the end it's nothing but_

_The shell of what I had when I first started_

_(When I first started)_

_(The shell of what I had when I first started)_

* * *


	2. The Only Thing I Want

Looking Glass

A two-part songfic, by That'sMyFiasco

**Part II- Everything I Need**

A/N: Sorry I took so long to update- I had this whole thing all but written, when I decided that no, I wanted to end it differently. So the whole last ¾ of the first draft got deleted. Ah, well. I think it turned it out better this way, anyways. Please enjoy!

* * *

_I've dug up miles and miles of sand_

_Searching for something I can't see_

_And I've just got bruised and battered hands_

_And a brand new void inside of me_

_Complete with walls I did create_

_From all the earth that I've displaced_

_A mess that I have made from what_

_I've just let pile and pile up_

_I have not been abandoned, no I have not been_

_Deserted and I have not been forgotten_

_I need you_

_I need you here_

_I need you now_

_I need security somehow_

_I need you_

_Like you would not believe_

_You're the only thing I want_

_Cause you're everything I need_

_Explore the cave that is my chest_

_A torch reveals there's nothing left_

_Your whispers echo off the walls_

_And you can hear my distant calls_

_The voice of who I used to be_

_Screaming out "someone, someone please_

_Please shine a light into the black_

_Wade through the depths and bring me back"_

_-_I Need You, by Relient K

There they are. Again. It's insane that I should expect anything different, that I should think that Inuyasha wouldn't follow her as soon as her scent taints the air. On nights like these, I have to try really hard not to resent her. I don't hate her- after all, we share a soul. But is it fair that she can just come around as she pleases and instantly banish any thought of me from Inuyasha's mind?

I'm not being fair to Inuyasha, I suppose. He has a choice in the matter, of course, and it's not as if he just instantly forgets about me, about the rest of us. It would be horrible to think so, after he's saved each of our lives time and time again.

Still, though I would never force Inuyasha to be with me... I wish he would want to be with me. Is that too much to ask? Sure, he stays with me, but sometimes I just have to wonder whether he's thinking of me, or _her._ If when he looks into my face he sees me or _her. _And once again, after what was such a lovely evening by the fire, a soul stealer appears and off he goes.

I can see them from my vantage point here. I can't hear them, but I'm close enough to see the look in Inuyasha's eyes when he looks into hers. And what I can't see, I can imagine.

I'm terribly greedy when it comes to his eyes. I adore them... that deep amber, the flash at the heart of them when I get him angry, that suspicious look he gets when something isn't going as planned. Something in me wants to keep them all to myself... to snatch up every look he gives and bring them to myself. Love does strange things to people, I've been told- I hardly believed it until it happened to me. I've become so incredibly selfish.

Voices from the clearing in front of me pull my attention back to the present. Kikyo was saying... something... I couldn't hear. And then, as I could only stand and watch helplessly as she presses her lips to his cheek. Inuyasha didn't move, but I did, spinning around and running away, my footsteps in time with the pounding of my heart. Trees snatched at my hair, tugged at my clothes, and one sharp branch nicked the skin beneath my jaw. Eventually, I stumbled out into a slight break in the trees. It was cold, tonight, and my small skirt just wasn't cutting it. The moon was bright, the gentle moonbeams slicing through the green leaves.

Across the way, a small creek dribbled feebly across some mossy stones. I claimed a relatively dry one for myself and settled in. I just didn't have the energy to put on a cheerful front for the others, not tonight. I tried not to think about... _him_. It was dangerous, dwelling too much on what I didn't have- and could never have. Unbidden, rebelliously, a few warm tears slid over my cheeks. I swiped at them angrily- this was ridiculous. My heart quavered weakly- it was unused to this kind of abuse.

Suddenly, I knew he was there. Don't ask me how... but I knew. After trying to wipe of some of the salt hardening on my skin, I turned around slowly- only to be enveloped by his arms, so warm and strong. And as always, as soon as I felt his touch, his fingers spreading across the small of my back and tangling in my hair, I just melted. It's insane, this weakness I have for him. But when he's near me, all I can think of if how much I love him.

Slowly, silently, I began to cry again. The hot tears streak down my face and drop to his neck, causing Inuyasha to pull back and look down at me. I looked up, but after seeing his eyes on me- I had to drop my own to stare at my feet. A touch beneath my chin caused me to look back up- a concerned look was on his face.

"Hey," he said quietly, in a voice more tender than I have ever heard him use, "Is something wrong? Come on, Kagome, you can tell me." I couldn't argue with that- but I didn't know if I could bring myself to tell him. There was a strange... peace, in his eyes, though it was overwhelmed with concern for me. But it was that genuine concern which broke my resolve.

"Inu- Inuyasha..." My voice trembled painfully- the only thing that kept me going was his constant, steady pressure on the back of my neck. Taking courage in his touch, I continued.

"I- I saw you with Kikyo. Tonight." His eyebrows drew together, and I continued, my words coming out in a rush. "I know that you love her, and I know that it's stupid and foolish for me to keep following you, hoping, but I still do, and-"

But there, in the woods, with his arms curled around me and his hair brushing my cheek and his heartbeat fluttering quicker and quicker beneath my fingertips, his warm lips slowly pressed to mine- insistently, passionately, and full of every feeling that had been hidden for so long. I, I couldn't breathe- he had stolen the breath right from me and taken it for his own. One sharp fang scraped lightly against my lip, and I gasped in surprise. After what was either a million moments or just one endless one, he pulled a hair's breath away, and looked into my eyes. I stared back, through a thick layer of tears. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips, and he lifted one clawed hand to brush at the tears on my cheeks. "Please, don't cry, you know I hate it when you do." I shook my head. I was- in a word- confused.

"Wh- what about Kikyo?" My tongue felt thick in my mouth, and I stumbled over my words. "I saw you, together, and..." I trailed off desperately, unable to make myself speak the words. Because if I spoke them, that would only make them all the more real. But- strangely enough- he was still smiling. Was this my Inuyasha? Normally he would be so angry that I had followed him, and spied. Instead, there was an uncharacteristically gentle smile on his face as he looked down at me. Now, he was shaking his head, his amber eyes warm.

Though he had a peaceful look on his face, there was an embarrassed hint to his expression. "She said goodbye." There was disbelief in his words even as he said them. "She said- that she released me, and that she wanted me to be happy. I don't have to follow her anymore." I could feel my eyes widen in surprise- this hadn't been what I was expecting. The smile on his face grew as he witnessed my surprise. "So, I need to tell you something. Important. And I've been wanting to for a long time, but I couldn't with Kikyo still around, and I wasn't sure what you were going to say, and-"

He cut himself off, taking a deep breath. "I love you." My heart lurched painfully, as if not quite sure what this new feeling of hope was. He smiled slightly, as if nervous about my response. I smiled incredulously, still convinced I would wake up from this dream any minute.

Slowly, timidly, I pulled his head down until his lips pressed against mine.

_I have not been abandoned, no I have not been_

_Deserted and I have not been forgotten_

_I need you_

_I need you here_

_I need you now_

_I need security somehow_

_I need you_

_Like you would not believe_

_You're the only thing I want_

_Cause you're everything I need_

_I need you_

_I need you here_

_I need you now_

_I need security somehow_

_I need you_

_Like you would not believe_

_You're the only thing I want_

_Cause you're everything_

_Everything_

_Everything I need_

* * *


End file.
